Addicted to Dysfunction

I like angst. Heck, I revel in it. But there's a trend in the shoujo-ai community that I've noticed that I just don't get -- emotionally dysfunctional characters and/or couples being loved and adored. Is it because so much of the community is under 25? Is it because subtle is lost on viewers and they need these overblown displays to relate to a character? Does it have something to do with the issues in their own lives?

Strawberry Panic is an easy show to pull examples from. Since I like my angst, I have to love Yaya. She's a wonderful character with a good heart that's being broken because she knows the person she loves is in love with someone else. Like a good friend, she encourages Hikari to follow her heart and go after her true love, no matter how much it hurts Yaya to do so. The problem from fandom's perspective - the person Hikari is in love with is too sedate for most of them. She's "an emotionless robot" because she doesn't joygasm at the sight of Hikari or rail in anger at the fangirls who annoy her so. She also doesn't try to rape Hikari, which seems to be a running theme in the show. Amane's personality is completely lost to most people. They don't see the smile of friendship she gives to Shizuma or how her demeanor changes when Hikari is around. The change when she's with those she likes or cares about is a dramactic one from the armor and shield she wears around campus. How can people not see it? But Amane is a quiet personality, and quiet is apparently boring.

The top prize for dysfunction, though, easily goes to Chikane and Himeko from Kannazuki no Miko. Don't misunderstand, I enjoyed the series. It's a nice guilty pleasure that drips with overwrought drama and angst. Though I like the Himeko in Kyoshiro better than the one in KnM. But that's another topic. So, anyway, we've got all the perfect elements here that get fandom riled up - whiny blond, dark haired heroine, token male, rape, and payoff. Payoff being the big thing here because that's so rare. I guess that's why folks cling to these two the way they do. Of course, we have payoff without hysteronics or rape in Vandread. That, however, is ignored. Why? No, they aren't the main characters. But there are at least 3 lesbian couples in Vandread, one even has a child together. Where's all the fanfic and the massive discussion over sexual identity that this show should garner? It's an overlooked gem with great characters, a fun story, and that rarest of rare things -- payoff. But, unfortunately, it lacks dysfunction.

I suppose I'm a boring person. I'm settled and I like it that way. Maybe that's why I go for the characters who are more like me. But I have to ask again, why the love of dysfunction with such disdain for subtle, quiet characters? Do people really relate better to that or is it just the angst they seek?